24 Jul FML

I was lifeguarding at the Y when a mom told her son “to ask the pretty lifeguard where the bathroom is.” He looked around the pool, straight past me, and said “but there isn’t a pretty lifeguard here.” FML

I stole a tester lipstick from MAC. I got mouth herpes from it.  FML

My boyfriend fell asleep before me one night so I decided to go through his phone. I didn’t find anything from other girls, just nudes from his “bud” Dan. FML