06 Feb Monologo de Deep Thoughts

Speech for Animals, sorry Humans

yo stevie, STEVIEE! yeah you right there. looking at me like i don’t know what you do. i see you. i see you having a “little fun time around” with your friend over there. oh and the worst thing about it is that you do it in front of me and the 2pm friend of yours you had a “little fun time around” too. like cant you move to another place? go to another room stevie? im trying to squeeze in my 5pm friend before my wife comes over and we have our “little fun time around” too

STEVIE!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU POOP ON THE FRIGGINNN CARPET FRIGGGIN AGAIN? DAMNIT STEVIE! I I JUST CLEANED IT FROM THE OTHER INCIDENT… ummm actually my bad stevie i i shouldn’t be shouting at you, you saved me from that one hehe. God bless i have you to blame if i ever pee the carpet while on acid AGAIN, hehehe…. *SNIFF SNIFF* mmmm is that pee i smell?? UGH STEVIE YOU ANIMAL!!!!

i bet stevie youre thinking about screwing around huh? right? i i know im right. you, you animals thats the only thing you do. WHENEVER YOU NIBBLE ON MY SOCKS IT IT HURTS ME STEVIE. you messing around with the plants!! guess who has to clean that? ME!!! YEAH! dont you know the effect it causes on other people when you do whatever it pleases you? actions have consequences!! YEAH YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT! you stevie DISGUST ME!! I I IHATE THE WAY YOU BARK, THE WAY YOUR STUPID TAIL KEEPS WAVING AT ME . THOSE SORRY ASSSS PUPPY EYES… YOU YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM AND ILL LEAVE YOU WITHOUT YOUR MEAL TODAY. HUH? LIKE THAT STEVIE? I LOVE THAT! yeah thats right stevie, its an eye for an eye kind thing we doing around here!

You know Stevie, FUN FACT COMING AT YOU BOY. The Lion isn’t the one hunting meal and stuff. Amusing huh? Is the female thing lionness whatever AND THEN THIS LION BE CLAIMING ALL THE CREDIT. ummm but its not like us, you know the inequality and stuff these girls be wanting to take from us. LIKE LIKE MY WIFE, SUSAN! can you believe she wants to be naming our kid? Like UM SUSAN I WAS THE ONE THAT GOT YOU PREGNANT, WITHOUT ME THERE WOULDN’T BE A LITTLE KID TO NAME IN THE FIRST PLACE!

oh stevie where you the one that killed the little bird? bad bad boy. i bet your ancestors wouldn’t have done that, well at least without a reason. am i right? like mine did, they killed those son of a bitches natives to um, well because why not? they were in our way of more land. The point is stevie, there was a reason. something you didn’t have