23 Jan Mascot Origin Story

Naggin’ the Dragon

The town of Monfrere, Alabama was never notable for very much. Its small public schools rarely made a splash in athletics. Its residents never made the news and very little crime ever occurred to be reported. On top of that, it was the sort of town that could swallow up a generation of lives without a single one of them moving away to live anywhere else, so few people outside of Monfrere had ever heard of it. Had anyone heard of Monfrere, they would have been fascinated to learn that this simple Alabaman town has a very unique mascot. Unusual though it is for a town to have a mascot at all, it’s still more unusual that this mascot is nothing more than a porcelain figurine of a dragon. Naggin’ the Dragon has been a vital piece of Monfrere’s culture for many years, though his story originates from an even more important feature of the town. Monfrere boasts what is most likely the largest regularly meeting sewing circle in the state of Alabama, if not the entire south. Indeed, most people in Monfrere would tell you with a straight face that this was the largest sewing circle in the country.

Every single Sunday, mothers and grandmothers throughout the town gather at the Monfrere community center and form a massive ring of chairs in the gymnasium. For seven hours each week, they sit, knit, and shoot the shit, or as they call it, engaging in some good SKS. It’s been said that in a single day, the Monfrere sewing circle can clothe half of the town. The circle isn’t only a hub for clothing production, however. Due to the large volume of gossiping that occurs between its members, the sewing circle is also Monfrere’s premiere source for all town-related news, which happens to be just about the only sort of news the people of Monfrere care about. Yet for many years, no one had a very easy time telling anyone anything in that sewing circle. With so many members, it was almost impossible to hear what anyone was saying over the clicking of an army of needles and the babble of their wielders. It was this problem that lead to the conception of what would go on to become the mascot of entire town. No one in Monfrere can quite agree on exactly how Naggin’ the Dragon came to be, but most people’s stories go something like this.

One fine December day, a woman named Millie Blackburn brought to the circle a gift she’d purchased for her son at the local thrift store. Her son was a lover of all things fantasy, and so she had jumped at the opportunity to buy the porcelain dragon sitting in the shop’s window. She originally planned to bring it home after the sewing circle adjourned and wrap it to be given to her son for Christmas, however fate had other plans.

It was a particularly boisterous day in the circle, the Crimson Tide had just beaten Auburn the day before and the entire state was buzzing about it, including Monfrere. Amidst the hubbub over the big win, Millie’s neighbor had asked her about the dragon. When Millie tried to reply, her voice was drowned out by the cacophony of other voices praising God, Jesus, and the Crimson Tide. Eventually Millie had enough and she shrieked, “Shut your mouths damn it! I’ve got the dragon, and I’m speaking!”

This outburst immediately silenced the circle, all of whom turned to look with surprise and interest at Millie and her dragon. Seeing an opportunity to effect great change for the circle, Mille had then gone on to explain to the circle that she’d bought the dragon for the circle so that it could be passed around and everyone would be given a chance to speak without bellowing over fifty other voices. To her great surprise the circle loved the idea and adopted it immediately.

Now, the dragon was only ever “the dragon” for the next several months. One day in March, Millie’s son came to the circle to ask his mother for a dollar to buy ice cream. He’d come straight from football practice, and he looked a mess for it. Millie happened to be holding the dragon at the time and when she turned to look at him and saw his appearance, she immediately laid into him as any good mother would. She told him to go home and shower the filth off of him before coming around so many of his elders in public. Then, at her neighbor’s urging, she passed the dragon along and the next member of the circle had a turn berating Millie’s son. They say the dragon made it all the way around the circle before coming to a final rest in Millie’s hands. By that time the boy had received a nagging so fierce, he quaked in his shoes. Millie ordered her now quivering son to leave and go home immediately. Folks in Monfrere say that he suffered a nagging so vicious that for the rest of his days his shirts were sewn right into the inside of his pants so they’d always be tucked in-even when he wasn’t wearing them- and that his hair was super glued permanently into a perfect comb over. They say he never slept in his bed again so that it would always remain made and that he walked around with a constant IV drip of V8 so that no one could ever tell him he wasn’t getting his vegetables.

So great did the legend of that nagging become that it wasn’t long before the entire town knew the name “Naggin’ the Dragon”. With so little else to define the town, Monfrere made the porcelain figure its unofficial mascot, even putting him on the township seal. The dragon remains an essential piece of the sewing circle, ensuring that every member gets a chance to speak and, if necessary, nag the living shit out of any unkempt trespassers.