07 Feb Overheard Conversations

It’s Not Delivery

Man #1: Looking back at MAN #2 as he passes by in the freezer aisle. He points at the two frozen pizzas that MAN #2 is pulling out of the freezer.  Are those any good?

Man #2: Pulling two frozen pizzas out of the freezer, he looks over his shoulder, mid-action. They’re alright. It’s two for ten dollars and I can’t really argue with that.

Man #1: Nodding and beginning to move on. Yeah, two for ten, that’s pretty good.

Don’t Hurt Yourself

Man #1: Bending down, guiding MAN #2’s hand as he performs a bent-over dumbbell back fly. That’s right, just hold it at the peak. Perfect, and then control it all the way back down. Be careful now, you wanna keep your back straight. He places his hand on the arch in MAN #2’s back. You’ve got some curve in yours right now. That can really mess you up later in life so really be careful with that.

The Underdog

Man #1: Excitedly, with no small amount of volume in his voice. He gestures at a TV screen on the wall as he talks. Nick Foles man, I’m tellin ya the guy could not have been more of an underdog coming into this game.

Woman: Similarly excited and loud, though focusing more of her attention on MAN #1. It’s crazy too because I really don’t think the Eagles should have been underdogs coming into this game. I mean look where they were midseason, Wentz had us at the top of the entire league.

Man #2: Leaning in from several feet down the table. That’s the truth man, I’d bet most people would have put their money on the Eagles in week 10. But you take away Wentz and put in a guy like Foles Raises his hands in a gesture of diffusing blame. who, don’t get wrong, has been great for us before, but on the whole really has been inconsistent, you instantly make underdogs of Philly.

Man #1: Raising his glass. Well hey here’s to the underdog eh?

You Know What That Means

Woman #1: Pointing covertly over at a man who is intently fixing a game of giant-sized Jenga. Check that out, see how tightly he’s packing in those blocks?

Woman #2: Mildly confused, looks to see what WOMAN #1 is talking about. Yeahhh what about it?

Woman #1: A roguish grin on her face. You think that means he’s tight in bed too?

Woman #2: Clearly uncomfortable. What?

Woman #1: Leaning further forward. Do you think he’s as tight as those blocks in bed?

Woman #2: Smiling awkwardly. Uhh yeah, maybe, I dunno. She picks up her drink and looks away.

Helping the Elderly

Elderly Woman: Leaning over checkout counter. Her voice is slow and raspy. She points at a can of soup. I have a coupon for that one, but I can’t find it, just a second.

Checkout Girl: Looking furtively back at the long line forming behind ELDERLY WOMAN. That’s alright I know which one you’re talking about, I’ll deduct the cost for you.

Elderly Woman: Thank you, that’s very kind of you.