21 Feb Short Story/Short Film
Salmon Sucks
Rosa wakes up and rolls over to a rose on top of a note.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you. Can’t wait for dinner tonight.”
She reads it and rolls her eyes.
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Rosa is getting ready in front of the mirror.
Frankie is standing at the doorway, admiring her.
She realizes he’s there and jumps.
R: “Oh my god, Frankie! How have long you been standing there?!”
F: “Not that long.”
R: “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?!”
F: “I was admiring how beautiful you look.”
He walks over and leans to give her a kiss.
She turns her head to finish applying lipstick
R: “Thanks” she says flatly
F: “Ready when you are” he says oblivious to her annoyance.
_____________________________________
They arrive at the restaurant
F: “Mooney, party of 2”
The hostess checks the screen and gives Frankie a little smile.
H: “Right this way, Mr. Mooney”
They arrive to a table decorated with confetti and balloons.
R: “Wow” she says unenthusiastically. “This is…. A lot.”
F: “Did you like the note I left on the bed?”
R: “Yeah, it was sweet. Everyone does roses though.”
F: “I thought you liked roses.”
R: “I do. I just think they’re a bit cliché.”
F: “Well, next time I’ll get you something else.”
R: “Yeah, next time.”
W: “Can I start you off with something to drink?”
F: “I’ll have a glass of the house red, thank you.”
She mouths his exact words.
R: “Do you have any cocktails on special tonight?”
W: “Ye-
R: “I”ll just have the strongest one.”
W: “But wh-“
R: “The strongest, thank you.”
Waiter walks away.
F: “Wow, someone’s ready to get rowdy.”
R: “Yeah, anything to get this night started.”
They peruse the menu
Waiter comes back with drinks
R: “Thank you”
She chugs her drink
R: “Another one please”
W: “Are we ready to order or do we need another minute?”
F: “I’ll have the grilled salmon with a side of broccoli and mashed potatoes please.”
W: “And for you?”
Rosa ignores the waiter and asks him “don’t you wanna try something else? You literally get salmon every place we go too. Italian, Indian, Thai, it’s always salmon. When was the last time you branched out?”
F: “Why would I branch out when I know it’s what I like?” He lowers his voice “You know I have a sensitive stomach.”
R: “I mean, there was a point in your life where you had never had salmon before. Didn’t you think you were going to hate it but now it’s the only fucking thing you order at restaurants?”
F: “I guess… but I like what I like. I don’t get why you’re so upset over this.”
R: “I just… I’m afraid you’re gonna get bored of salmon and red wine. Red wine doesn’t even go with salmon. White wine goes with seafood and chicken.”
F: “Yeah but I like what I like. There’s no need to branch out when I’m perfectly content.”
R: “Yeah but what if there’s another dish on there that you haven’t tried but might end up liking even more than salmon?”
“Should I come back?” waiter asks awkwardly
R: “What about the lamb chops? Or seared tuna? Or veal? Aren’t you curious about how good they are AT ALL?”
F: “Honestly no… What’s wrong honey? You don’t seem like yourself.”
R: “Ugh. You’re right. I’m just a little hangry. That’s all.”
F: “When did you last eat?
R: “Like 2 hours ago. I’m starving. Umm, I’ll have the veal, thanks.”
“Great.” Says waiter
F: “So, a recruiter reached out to me today. About a senior position in Boston.”
R: “Oh yeah? What did you think?”
F: “Well the pay is obviously better. Better perks, better clients. But I said I wasn’t interested.”
R: “Why?”
F: “This is home. I love it here. You’re here.”
R: “You’ve been here your whole life.”
F: “Yeah, it’s my favorite place.”
R: “How do you know? You’ve never lived anywhere else for more than a few months.”
F: “That’s not true. I studied abroad in college.”
R: “IN CANADA which is basically just a nicer, less racist version of the US.”
F: “Are you sure nothing’s wrong? You seem more agitated than usual.”
Rosa sighs.
R: “Are you kidding me? I just spent the entire night being a complete bitch and you want to know if I’m OKAY? What is wrong with you?! Have you ever stood up for yourself? Or did ANYTHING exciting?! Every single day that I wake up next to you, I feel like I’m getting one step closer to the grave.”
F: “Wow um… I didn’t know you felt like this.”
R: “I.. I tell you all the time how bored I am with us. With you.”
F: “No you don’t.”
R: “I try to. Like last week. I suggested you lightly pull my hair during sex.”
F: “And I told you that stuff only happens in extremely unrealistic porn.”
R: “No it doesn’t! SOME people like that!”
F: “Okay fine. I’ll pull your hair during sex. Are we good?” he reaches for her hand
Waiter comes back with food, hears that, and turns around
R: “No! I’m so sick of you being so passive and.. and.. nice! There IS such thing is being too nice.”
F: “I’m sorry.”
R: “STOP APOLOGIZING. That’s not what I want. I want you to stand up for yourself and take charge sometimes. Tell me when I’m being a bitch. Honk the horn when someone cuts you off. Stop being so fucking bland.”
F: “Alright fine. I’m sorry.”
R: “GOD DAMN IT, FRANCIS MOONEY. WE ARE DONE.” Rosa storms off after popping a balloon.
Waiter comes back. “Here’s your salmon, sir.”
