17 Jul Comedy Poems

Haiku sex joke

 

It is difficult

to make a decent sex joke

with only penis

 

Only 17 syllables

 

A Haiku is like

an unsatisfying fuck:

Already over

 

 

Rhyming for show

 

This is a poem called rhyming for show,

it’s blunt force comedy, you already know,

and you’ll notice that words get forced in like snow,

they’re only there for the rhyme, the skill level’s low.

I’ll just warn you now, more bad lines are in tow,

I’m rhyming for the fuck of it, that’s rhyming for show.

 

Imagine if I had a friend as a goose,

and her command of the English language was loose,

and she constantly complained to me about shoes,

and other dumb shit that I’d never peruse.

It’s too bad for her that I run a short fuse,

and for murdering a goose, I could not be accused.

That was a confession, I did kill my friend goose,

you can take me to court, but I know that you’d lose,

because the moment you step up and tell them the news,

they’d tell you it’s “goose as a friend”, and not “friend as a goose”.

But that’s just the risk that you undergo,

When you take someone seriously who’s rhyming for show.

 

I could tell you I have all my ducks in a row,

but I would be lying, another rhyme for the show.

 

Just look at that, I did it again,

I made you believe me, you’re quite daft my friend,

I bet if I told you my life’s at an end,

that you’d try to console me, draft a help text and hit send,

but again, you don’t realize the rules that I bend,

it’s all part of my plan, it’s in my agend….a

 

Oh shit, you’ve seen through me, these words that I blow,

I should have never let mumble rap be the source that I owe,

and now that you’ve seen me cross this line that I toe,

you’ll know I’m a fraud, that I rhyme just for show.