14 Apr Dialogues Week 2
Man on the phone (halfway through the convo):
I wanted to ask you… eh, tomorrow we have the technical team stopping by the facility in eh, Kendall, and … alo? Alo? Si, I can barely hear you.”
Pause.
“Ok, now it’s better. So like I was saying, can you be in the facility to oversee the tech guys? Good, good. Thanks man, we’ll catch up later.”
2.
Three men sitting at the restaurant table next to mine:
Man 1: “Did you see that?? The two women in suits with the guns?”
Man 2: “Yeah, that’s Homeland Security I think.”
Man 3 (chuckling): “What for?”
Man 1: “How can you tell though?”
Man 2: “There’s a rehab center next door and there’s always junkies trying to escape.”
Man 1: “For real?” He laughed but it sounded like a cough. “What does Homeland Security have to do with that?”
Man 2: “I don’t know. But the rehab thing is for real. 2011 this street was filled with junkies, then the government came and fixed it, opened the rehab center and put them all there. Then the place got busted for selling drugs, closed, and they opened a new one across the street, where it says YOGA, right there. But you know how it goes, can’t help most of them, they’ll just run away after their fixes.”
Man 3: “I still don’t get how this has to do with Homeland Security being here.”
(Neither do I).
3.
In line at the DMV to renew license. The girl standing in front of me had a funny sense of style (the longest fake nails I have ever seen, sparkling neon pink, hair colored in a cheap purple dye, and she wore flip flops). She was on the phone for a long time. When she finally hung up, she let out a loud sigh and spoke even louder:
“Man, someone here smells like WEED.”
I cracked up in silence, but the guy in front of her turned and laughed.
“Yeah, I’ve been smelling it too. Hope it ain’t me.”
She replied, “Man, I think it’s you.” She paused and I thought that was the end of the conversation, then she said: “No but this is awesome though, I haven’t smoked for so long I’m like high just from standing next to ya.”
There was a police officer riiiight next to us and I thought the whole scene was pretty hilarious.
4.
Overheard at an Uber in Chicago. The driver was a lady in her 40s who definitely owned a dog, by the smell of the car. She answered the phone mid-ride and put it on speaker.
Driver: “Hey Mike.” She had a very mellow voice and spoke slowly.
Mike (on the other line): “Hi, I missed your call earlier, sorry.”
Driver: “Oh that’s okay, I was just calling to say hello.”
Mike: “Oh, hello.”
Driver: “How have you been? What have you been up to?”
Mike: “Good good… just got to Chicago this morning actually, slept all day.”
Driver: “Well you have to sleep at some time.”
Mike: “Sure, yeah.”
Driver: “So do you have any plans for tonight?”
Mike: “Not yet, was thinking of hitting the bar later on, but I’ll see.”
Driver: “Okay, well, let me know when you decide. I’m driving right now, we’ll talk later.”
Mike: “Yes, sounds good.”
5.
At the restaurant. A lady in her 50s, who had been sitting at the big table in the back, marches into the kitchen infuriated. She’s a bit overweight and so sunburnt her face looks like a tomato next to her silver-blonde hair. She turns the waiter next to me, points and rants:
“Listen, I have been sitting there watching everyone else eat and nothing of my order. This is ridiculous. I don’t know who’s overseeing this mad-house but it needs some order. First the boy forgets to put in my order, then it never arrives! And I’m just sitting there watching people eat and I can’t eat!”
The waiter was quick:
“I’m very sorry about this, I know we’ve had some problems with the order, but you ordered the Moqueca and that takes a little longer to cook and since we put in the order later, that’s why it’s taking some time. But it should be coming out in-”
She cut him, almost yelling:
“No no no no, I don’t want it anymore. You’ve made me wait so long that everyone ate already and now I’ll have to eat alone. I’m not eating alone. I came here to eat and now I won’t eat at all.”
Waiter:
“Ma’am, the order will be out any moment now and it will be on us.”
Lady:
“No, I don’t want your food anymore. Just cancel that order, I don’t want it. You’ve made me wait and this is absurd! I’d rather not eat anything and go home hungry. Cancel it.”
She turned her back and strode off.
(The food was ready within the next 5 minutes, but she didn’t take it. They later accepted a round of drinks on the house).
5.
