Eavesdrop conversations.

#1

“No ma, siempre compras este (milk) que tiene lo del Lactaid. Esta es otra marca” – Publix

Carol tells her mother to buy the right milk product, since she seems to confuse all the milk cartons that are of the same color, thinking that all of them are Lactose-free. This becomes a huge inconvenience because sometimes her mother will buy the wrong milk and feel bad after drinking her morning coffee – which causes her to be late for work.

She can almost remember that one time her mother was late and ran out to go meet with a client, only have trouble on her way to the meeting due to a ‘gravy’ outburst in the middle of the US-1 freeway. She had to park the car and ask a homeless man if she could use his bathroom… a well-trimmed bush (no pun intended) under the metro rails.

She then had to pay the homeless 4 dollars for some toilet paper. When she finally got to her meeting, she was late and all sweaty. She finally sits down and the conversation starts; to make matters worse, the client wasn’t happy with the proposal and turned it down. Carol’s mother offered a revision no later than the next day and left.

But where was her car? Fuck. Carol’s mother had parked in a tow-away zone. Time to switch to almond milk, lady.

#2

“Que dice, hermano! Te deje el paquete con Rios esta vez!” “*Laugh* Dale broder. Sino te lo cobro!” – Condo staff

It seems like Nestor, the security guard, sometimes is in charge of relocating packages that are accidently delivered at the valet when the USPS person can’t find the package office in the lower-lobby.

Not many condos now-a-days have a ‘lower-lobby.’ Hell, not many people know what a ‘lower-lobby’ is… but mine has it, and it seems like Nestor might’ve fucked up the first time.

Nestor probably received the package and thought it had to be delivered to the front-desk, which prompted the front desk guy to think it had to be held there for a specific pick-up. But in the mind time, John was waiting for the delivery of his glass bong, which he needed because he had broken his previous one. His mind was all set and pumped, since he knew it would be delivered that day. He went down to the package office only to receive the bad news that it hadn’t been delivered. Frustrated and twitching, he returned to his apartment to improvise for a Plan B.

After thinking for a couple of minutes, or quite honestly, not thinking much at all – John decided to improvise with his old broken bong. After a few tries, it wasn’t working like he wanted to, and he was just wasting his good kush. In frustration, he decided to try with the other stash – the “Intercontinental Korean Rabbit.” This one was put on lock because it just made you act-out a bit into a ‘zombie’ phase. Something John had planned to use with his friends to see how they would react. But not this time. This time, is was just him and the ‘Korean Rabbit.’

After a few puffs, John started to act-out a bit in desperation. He believed he had a mission to find out where his new bong had gone. So, he went down to the package office and started interrogating the staff. In a very disappointing tone, he told them he would made them paid for it if it didn’t show up… it was of “sentimental value.” The staff laughed but promised they would find out what happened.

Eventually, they helped John find his bong. And after that, it became an inside joke, where the staff would mess with the new security guy, Nestor, that they would make him pay for the lost items.