Assonance- Jane felt pain when told tickets were sold out for Gucci Mane. Kids get sick then lick each other. Drinking tea makes me pee especially when I have it by the sea. Chiasmus- Overcome your fears or fear will overcome you. You were my life. My life was you. Eat what...
I was lifeguarding at the Y when a mom told her son “to ask the pretty lifeguard where the bathroom is.” He looked around the pool, straight past me, and said “but there isn’t a pretty lifeguard here.” FML I stole a tester lipstick from MAC....
Poop Always wash your hands After you use the potty Wash all the poop off Manners Say please and thank you It is a nice thing to do Just like giving gifts Yay Teeth We brush our teeth every day We brush so that they don’t decay We brush our teeth every night So that they’re clean...
“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his...
Procrastination It’s almost midnight. I should be in bed, but no. I am writing this. Not Forever 21 This bar is too loud. I would rather be in bed. When did I get old? Everything Sucks What is a 401K? And will I need to get one someday? What is a mortgage? And will I be able...
Alliteration Sexy smiles start with us Allusion For lips as tempting as Pandora’s box Amplification It used to be cherry or original Now there’s coconut peach orange mint cotton candy raspberry vanilla everything you’ve ever dreamt of. Antithesis One second of application, 8 hours of perfect moisture Anthropomorphism ChapStick with as much attitude and shine as the wearer Anaphora Say hello to total hydration. Say...
Alliteration- The busty beach bum bought a bottle of brandy and baked a bundt cake. The angry aunt asked for an apple and had an aneurysm when she was brought an apricot. The determined Danish dad decided to dance despite double dandruff surgery. Allusion- The convent was a modern-day Gilead. Her...
thanks mom your stretchmarks are a gift from me. my left dimple is a gift from you. dinner with your friends i do things i hate without complaining too much because i love you roughly translated “i was a different person” means you’ve hurt many others “i was a different person” means you’ve made many mistakes “i...
Salmon Sucks Rosa wakes up and rolls over to a rose on top of a note. “Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you. Can’t wait for dinner tonight.” She reads it and rolls her eyes. ____________________________________________ Rosa is getting ready in front of the mirror. Frankie is standing at the doorway, admiring...