(Person 1) Hey did you signed the letter for the construction in front? (Person 2) Yea they told me about but I just got here I was in Orlando. But yea they told me about it what a mess. (Person 1) Hopefully everyone collaborates. ...
“Man, just do it like this:” The man paused for a few seconds, probably to create some tension. And then, “Take a screenshot of the email you sent her and just fucking forward that to her, be like: I told you not to do this.” “Yeah, I...
I drove two hours and a half to a neighboring city for a medical exam. It was an arduously long trip and when I arrived, all I needed to do was pee in a pot. Within five minutes I was driving two hours and a...
As she walked down the asile a bird entered de church and pooped on her veil, everybody was shocked, a few seconds passed in silence, all the church kept staring at her, then the bride let go an hysterical laughter. The groom felt he wanted to...
- So, I'm going to Boston this weekend to drink with my girlfriends. We will be about 15 girls together and we know each other since high school. We will have a free bar party and such and be back by Monday. -Sounds like fun! -Sure it...
He looks at me with the deepest devotion and love. With admiration and awe. With truth and hope. The purity of his eyes sees nothing else, than a hero in me. There's nothing else I wish I could be, If I could be the person my dog thinks...
Crab people rose from the shore. They came for houses and left only floors. Tree to tree they tossed ropes with their claws, they lived in a forest and slept on the logs. I was a look out, I took out their scout. Put on...
"I cut jalapeños then I put contacts on. Bad idea." (Jalapeños are a theme here) "Don't invite Kim to the potluck." (Overheard at The Local in Coral Gables) "Opening day baaaaby! Go Soxxxxx!" (Overheard at The local in Coral Gables) All conversations overheard at The Local in Coral...
"I really think Tom Cruise would've been a better Neo than Keanu Reeves." (Overheard at a recording studio in North Miami) "Eat your carrots, they improve your vision" (In Spanish) (Overheard at a recording studio in North Miami) "They should build a US2" (Overheard at a recording studio in...